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What is the first impression you give off?

topic posted Fri, February 8, 2008 - 4:27 PM by  Maura
When someone first meets you, what is usually the first impression is you give off? (If you're not sure, ask a friend).
Is this first impression who you really are? If not, what is the real you?
posted by:
Maura
offline Maura
Connecticut
10 friends
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  • Cameron
    Cameron
    offline 3

    Re: What is the first impression you give off?

    Fri, February 8, 2008 - 10:20 PM
    Well, depends on the situation. But if it's in a crowd of people I don't know, their first impression is probably that I'm shy and quiet.

    If it's in a situation where I'm surrounded by people I do know and there's only one new person, I probably come off as aloof as I tend not to talk to people I don't know as I'm never really sure what to say to them. So, I still with talking to the people I do know.
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  • Love...
    Lovely Day
    offline 20

    Re: What is the first impression you give off?

    Mon, February 11, 2008 - 11:42 PM
    It's a great question that I don't have a great answer.

    I think it largely depends on how I come into contact with a person and what their attitude is at the time. Some will tell you that I'm silly ... others that I never crack a smile. Some will tell you I'm the sweetest person on the planet ... others will tell you I'm the angriest, most violent person they've ever met (I have been violent in the past ... still am when it's necessary ... and most think it's necessary long before I do). This question does need more exploration if only for my own mind.
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  • Re: What is the first impression you give off?

    Tue, February 12, 2008 - 7:39 AM
    It depends a lot upon the setting, my mood, and the person judging the context of meeting me. Most folks agree I come across as loquacious, friendly, smart, silly and confident.

    I've rarely been accused of the opposite on the first two and only those who really have a chip on their shoulder or are just plain ornery would not perceive the rest.

    Because of my outgoing personality, folks tend to either really like me or really dislike me at first blush. This can be a pain in the ass.

    Also, I tend to make better impressions with men and those who are above-average intellectually, but perhaps a bit low on the maturity scale. Those who are older than their years and of average IQ find me a bit haughty and a know-it-all. And if the person(s) I'm meeting doesn't have much of a sense of humor, they find my silliness repulsive.

    Of course, this applies only to meeting in-person. On the Internet is an ENTIRELY different matter.

    :)
    Feiruz
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  • Step...
    Stephanie
    offline 3

    Re: What is the first impression you give off?

    Tue, February 12, 2008 - 7:27 PM
    Short answer: I did ask this question of people in my community last summer, as part of a community project, and was surprised to find that I was generally perceived to be a happy, chatty, friendly sort of person who makes others laugh. That was weird to hear, since I perceived myself as fairly gloomy and awkward. Hearing others tell me how they see me had a huge impact on my life, making me think about who I really want to be for others and what I was trying to cover up with gloominess, and I'm now very comfortable being joyful. I get this as who I really am because others tell me they feel comfortable being who they are around me.
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    • Valdese
      Valdese
      offline 6

      Re: What is the first impression you give off?

      Sun, March 23, 2008 - 10:14 AM
      Do I detect Landmark Self Expression and Leadership program?? If not, it's scary. Anyway, I come off as being friendly, yet a bit unapproachable. People have told me (in interviews for my community project and otherwise) that when they first met me, they thought I was very social and friendly, but that I was a snob at times. They'd see me having a great time with others, but shut down with them, as the new person. That's not snobbery, that's my childhood shyness peaking out, unsure of what to say to you...because you as a stranger frankly scare me and I want to make sure I have a good idea of who you are before I'll let you see the real me! Story, yes. Do I HAVE to be this way? No. It's a tendency that I do recognize!
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  • Lauren
    Lauren
    offline 0

    Re: What is the first impression you give off?

    Tue, February 19, 2008 - 4:53 PM
    for some reason people say that i am intimidating.. i don't believe I am.. but apparently i am. I am the nicest person if you just try to talk to me!
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    • ta2 ...
      ta2 JoYnT
      offline 213

      Re: What is the first impression you give off?

      Tue, February 19, 2008 - 11:57 PM
      well...hehehe! as a tattoo artist....most people meet me in my shop...and they see my art before I even say a word...then when I introduce myself....well...I've got the last name " Joynt" and its all shits n giggles from there!
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      • Michael
        Michael
        offline 9

        Re: What is the first impression you give off?

        Wed, February 20, 2008 - 8:26 PM
        ***well...I've got the last name " Joynt" and its all shits n giggles from there!*** Lol ;)

        Lauren, how could anyone ever find a beautiful flower intimidating?
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        • Cameron
          Cameron
          offline 3

          Re: What is the first impression you give off?

          Thu, February 21, 2008 - 9:41 AM
          It seems that beauty can be very intimidating. I think anything can be intimidating to different people.
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          • ta2 ...
            ta2 JoYnT
            offline 213

            Re: What is the first impression you give off?

            Thu, February 21, 2008 - 7:27 PM
            most people who walk in my tattoo shop for their 1st tattoo always look like a deer in some serious headlights!
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            • Re: What is the first impression you give off?

              Thu, February 21, 2008 - 9:05 PM
              How many of them are sober? (This is a serious question.)
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              • ta2 ...
                ta2 JoYnT
                offline 213

                Re: What is the first impression you give off?

                Thu, February 21, 2008 - 10:43 PM
                all! I won't ink em if their boozed up! makes em bleed more! ya lose ink..and I really hate having to do a job twice!
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                • Re: What is the first impression you give off?

                  Thu, February 21, 2008 - 10:55 PM
                  > I really hate having to do a job twice!

                  The first one being what the first asked for while drunk, and the second one being what they want you to fix or change once the sober up. That kind of twice? ;-)
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                    ta2 ...
                    ta2 JoYnT
                    offline 213

                    Re: What is the first impression you give off?

                    Thu, February 21, 2008 - 11:53 PM
                    it ain't rocket science....i can tell if someones been drinking 24 hours before get'n their ink..alcohol thins the blood alot and if its weeping blood alot..it push'n the ink I'm try'n ta put in back out...its difficult to ditermine the amount of ink loss until healing has occured....then its touch up time.
                    I don't hang flash on my shop walls ....so anyone coming in hammered ...can't randomly pick somethin wiyhout my intervention of design time of artwork.....don't get me wrong if its somethin small and their sober...I can draw somethin pretty quick !
                    I've got some customers that will try eat perks or oxys ta dilute the pain level....opiates have a tendency ta make ya itchy if ya take to many and then they don't sit still ....at witch time I stop the gun.
                    some smoke weed....mixed results..
                    the only thing that works is ta know before going in that its gonna hurt...yer gonna have this art forever so the responciblity for good work is'nt all on the artist....your cooperation is just as important!
                    People bitch about tatto prices...yet will go out and pay $30 or $40 thousand for a brand new car that is built with a life expectancy of 5 years...the ink lasts a life time!
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                    • Ms.D...
                      Ms.Dynomite
                      offline 258

                      Re: What is the first impression you give off?

                      Sun, February 24, 2008 - 11:10 AM
                      joynt,

                      "People bitch about tatto prices..."

                      yeah, I've never understood that. like, dude, seriously, this is going to be a PERMANENT part of your body. you're paying a one time fee for something you'll have the rest of your life. you're putting ART on your skin. and on top of that you're paying someone to inject a RAPIDLY MOVING NEEDLE into your skin. that's kinda something you might want to (a) invest in and (b) pay enough to insure the person knows what the hell they're doing.

                      I once met a girl who had Tinkerbell tattooed on her ankle. I said "oh, you're really into Tinkerbell, huh?" and she replied "no, not really. I just wanted a fairy and this was the only thing they had". uh-huh. so you don't care enough about yourself or have enough conviction for your beliefs or passions to wait another day to find an actual fairy. instead you're walking around with a Disney advertisement. well, thanks, at least that told me everything I need to know about you and I won't be wasting much time here now. ;)

                      I think that's why my bf says "people get the tattoos they deserve" ;)
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                      • ta2 ...
                        ta2 JoYnT
                        offline 213

                        Re: What is the first impression you give off?

                        Sun, February 24, 2008 - 1:24 PM
                        some peeps will go out and pay...I dunno like $30 or $40 thousand on a brand new car..that has a life expectancy of 5 years..then add in insurance and gas ect.
                        yet will also bitch about the price of a sleeve tattoo...I don't get it !
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                      • Re: What is the first impression you give off?

                        Sun, February 24, 2008 - 5:50 PM
                        > I once met a girl who had Tinkerbell tattooed on her ankle. I said "oh, you're really into Tinkerbell, huh?" and she replied "no, not really. I just wanted a fairy and this was the only thing they had"

                        Back to my original theme ... must have been drunk ;-)
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                        • ta2 ...
                          ta2 JoYnT
                          offline 213

                          Re: What is the first impression you give off?

                          Sun, February 24, 2008 - 6:00 PM
                          alotta tattoo shops out there don't have an artist on staff...just tattooists!
                          I know lots of guys that could'nt draw a stick man...but they know how to technecly push ink...they can follow a stencil line then colour it in with the needles...but don't ask em ta draw an original picture!
                          I can pretty much draw ya up anything ya want...right now depending on the size and complexity! I swear ta god I can draw a butterfly with my eye's closed!
                          Even Miami ink...Omi James..I think thats his name...is constantly try'n ta get Chris Garver ta draw for him!
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  • Ms.D...
    Ms.Dynomite
    offline 258

    Re: What is the first impression you give off?

    Sun, February 24, 2008 - 11:19 AM
    "Is this first impression who you really are? If not, what is the real you?"

    I no longer have any idea what first impression I give off. and I've probably changed enough that asking friends wouldn't help because the first impressions friends had is no longer accurate. Though I'm beginning to realize it has more to do with the clique or culture the other person comes from and the circumstance of meeting, more than actually being about me.

    Sometimes people project what they need onto you (you're "sexy" because they're lonely or just a horn dog). Other times they are assessing you from only a small and limited life experience (you're "strange" because they live a very sheltered existence).

    Then there are times when someone meets you while you're sick, or in a hurry, or focused on a specific task, or at an event that requires you to observe certain etiquette. So they're getting a tiny specific glimpse that doesn't represent you on the whole.
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    • Maura
      Maura
      offline 10

      Re: What is the first impression you give off?

      Tue, February 26, 2008 - 4:49 AM
      Ms. Dynomite, thank you for such an insightful and thought provoking answer. It's so true when you think about it and happens probably more than we even realize.
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      • Ms.D...
        Ms.Dynomite
        offline 258

        Re: What is the first impression you give off?

        Tue, February 26, 2008 - 12:28 PM
        Maura,
        thanks. :) I have my moments. they're brief and fleeting, but they're there. ;)

        As I mentioned to you, my bf and I have had many convos about first impressions since people online seem get build this little story about who you are, and it's usually surprising, and we've found usually more about them than you. :)

        Sometimes it can be helpful or enlightening to know how others see us, as Stephanie mentioned above. You can learn positive things about yourself, or learn ways to better deal with others. For example, when I was in college I had a few people tell me they thought I was intimidating and had been shy about approaching me. What was really happening was that I was focused, not intimidating: I was holding 21 credits, working toward 2 majors, while working a 1-2 part time jobs, while fully supporting myself, while also applying to art schools in NYC.

        So my time wasn't approached like most of the other students, who could afford to be laid back and casual. My day was tightly structured, full of strategies and juggling and things most of them hadn't yet had to deal with. The experience of being focused and having responsibilities was foreign to them, so they labeled it as intimidating. Which again meant that their first impression had more to do with where they were coming from than my actual personality. But it was helpful to know so I could understand people's comfort zones a little better. :)

        Other times knowing people's impressions just tells you that they're ignorant arses, which also is helpful -- then you know to avoid them. ;) Like the guy I meant who thought that my pink hair meant I was "easy" (he might have said "slut", I'm being kind). I'm still baffled by this. ;) My best guess is that he was wound so tightly that dyed hair was "way out there" for him, so that translated to sexual free-for-all fantasy in his head.
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